Top 16 Places in Madison To Masturbate

Are you tired of doing the five knuckle shuffle at home?  Have you ever wondered what are the best places in Madison to spank the monkey?  Here is a list of the top 16 places to rub one out.
16. On the 2.
15. The civil war hut in Camp Randall.
14. Anywhere (or everywhere) in Barnard Hall.
13. 315 Mack House.
12. Into the Plasma Dynamo in Sterling Hall
11. Domesticated cats area of the Zoology building.
10. That statue in the Chazen with the erect goats making out.
9. Babcock Dairy.
8. Over that mother and child statue by the Chazen.
7. Kollege Klub.
6. While on Observatory Hill, while you look out into the deep azure of
the lake, let the cum dribble out of your rock-hard cock.
5. Into the chode-hole of Bret Bielema.
4. On Bascom Hill, while Abe Lincoln puts his finger in your butt.
3. In that fucking room in Humanities with the mannequin and the
2. On the 4th floor plateau of Vilas Hall, where that column is in the
corner about two feet from the wall. Awesome place to masturbate. The
fucking wall is covered with crusty semen and other shit.
1. A cage in Memorial Library.

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