It’s crunch time, folks, and we here at the Misnomer couldn’t give two shits. Where did our motivation go? It probably left town with our BCS bowl chances and those Pop Tarts you swear you put in your backpack this morning. Anyways, here’s a list of the things students may find to be more appealing than studying for your finals:
Everyone has seen the infamous blue barn-shaped building kitty corner to Union South, and it’s a shared UW experience to think “What the fuck is that?” But the infamous cow house is actually a sub shop.
Surprise! Cousin Subs has been shrouded in mystery for far too long, and we, The Madison Misnomer, have sleuthed our way to the truth behind this convenient store/restaurant’s inky past.
Cousin Subs has been hiding something so ground shaking, so earth-shattering, and so mind-blowing that editors at The Misnomer had to have multiple meetings to make absolutely sure that we could leak it without causing a campus-wide coo. Like, it’s a really big deal guys.
As of December 3, I currently owe GE Money Bank, Citi Bank, and Discover $1,412.45. Can I explicitly recall the source of all this debt, or justify it? No, not in the slightest.
See, I suffer from a condition called Compulsive Buying Disorder (known colloquially as DBD, Dumb Bitch Disorder), which causes me to spend large amounts of money on relatively frivolous items and get off on it.
There is no cure, and no end in sight as I navigate the pretty aesthetics of decorated havens of materialism, such as shopping malls and nicely designed websites persuading me to buy something I both don’t need and cannot afford.
Hello. My name is Kaden, and I’m a male #nohomo shopaholic.