A report released last Tuesday revealed the viral social media craze coined the “Cold Water Challenge” is actually a Wisconsin reverend’s ploy to baptize thousands of teenagers. The challenge consists of jumping into the nearest cold body of water, so as to purge the jumpers of sin and accept Christ into their lives. Those who are too lazy …
Mother’s Day is right around the corner! You want this day to be special for her, but you’re strapped for cash. What do you do? No worries! Here are 10 fresh gift ideas for the best woman in your life that could never compensate for all her years of undying love to you.
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After 33 years of successful racing around Down Town Madison—from the State Capitol to Camp Randall– the famous Crazy Legs Classic has been discontinued after becoming just too crazy this past Saturday.
In a theatrical turn of events this past Easter Sunday, massive fights erupted between many families at a local Easter egg hunt at the Capital, resulting in the death of hundreds of children and their parents.
By R. D. Herschel Like a loosened antelope hitting the long proboscis of a torpid mule like a bullet train, the realization shook his very core. Long he thought his paranoid wanderings and musings about the author were mere delusions of a grief-stricken mind, a mind wracked by the death of his late wife those …
By R. D. Herschel The mouth was first to move, it’s lips at first pursed tight as an anus, puckered as if sucking on a juice, sobbing, flame-coated lemon. It seemed to prolapse at once, emerging from the glorious bushy beard of crimson and dirt, mostly dirt, the lips shining with chapped effervescence. Chunky drool …
After a quite large consumption of an Easter Sunday meal of ribs, mashed potatoes, strawberry shortcake and other dishes, UW sophomore Max Rasmussen’s grandma Marlys, who prepared the meal, says she is quite surprised, as well as satisfied, with Rasmussen’s appetite.
In response to recent affirmative action controversy surrounding college admissions, UW Not Fair threw a large tantrum Monday, advocating for the admission of more students who come from white backgrounds to the University of Wisconsin to combat “stupid-butt reverse racism.”
University of Wisconsin freshman Tucker Albertson was found to still ask his TA to use the restroom in his entry-level chemistry class. Albertson was reported as saying, with his hand raised, “Mrs. Heinrich? Can I please use the restroom?” while holding out his student planner for her to write a hallway pass.